Refiner's Fire

Many of us have heard the song “Refiner’s Fire”, by Brain Doerksen.  We may sing it in church, hear it on the radio, and make it our prayer.  Here are just a few words of the song that sum it up:

“Refiner’s fire; my heart’s one desire, is to be holy.  Set apart for you, Lord, ready to do Your will.”

Until recently, I (Renae) don’t think I have felt the pain of that “refiner’s fire” quite so intensely.  The process of being refined and made holy to be like our Lord comes not only with sacrifice, but with pain, as if truly sitting in a fire and feeling the scorching pain on our skin.  Only this pain is an internal pain.  The daily challenge of submitting my stubborn will to God’s.  The sacrifice involved in both little and big things:  Having a pleasant attitude with my family after a sleepless night.  Showing grace and serving my family when I am overwhelmed and tired.  The tears and sorrow of knowing that seeing our families this holiday will be our last holiday in the states with them for a long time.  Enjoying my favorite season, fall, but grieving because there won’t be seasons where we are going.  Accepting that our kids will grow up without the experiences I had and feel were so influential in my life.

I want to be holy, truly I do.  Many days, though, I resist because this process is so painful, and will continue to be so as we experience so many transitions in the next year.  And yet, when I do finally submit my will and let God start His refining process, there is more joy.  I am starting to accept that it is not about where we live, whether or not I’m tired, if we get to experience all four seasons, living near or far from family, or about our kids getting every “American” experience.  But it IS about God making us more like Him in whatever situation we live in.  As God slowly helps me let go of all the worldly things I cling to, He gives back His joy and peace in abundance.  I am not there yet, it is a hard process and I still am learning to relinquish control, along with my worries and fears.  But I am thankful that He is with me every step, and that in the end I will maybe reflect Him a little bit more.

As I type this, this song is so fittingly playing from one of our children’s praise CD’s:

“With Him, and in Him, and through Him, I can do all things through Jesus my Lord.

With Jesus in me, I’m free indeed, so I will not be afraid.  When troubles and fear, start coming near, I lift my voice and say, With Him, and in Him, and through Him, I can do all things through Jesus my Lord.” 

I prayer you, too, will find strength to do all thing through Him!

Renae Schmidt