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| Sunset view of the mountains we live near by. |
Well, we made it a year. Technically, we've now lived in Indonesia one year and a month, if you count our first attempt to get here before we returned to America because of Tyler's knee injury.
This might sound strange to those of you in America, but probably not to anyone who's lived overseas before. I think it's taken me this entire first year to finally accept that I now live in Indonesia. Maybe because we had a rough start the first time, and then had so many difficult circumstances when we returned, I think a small part of me kept wondering, "how long til we go back? Will I ever be able to move on and start living like this is our new home now?" Of course, we still haven't even moved to our flight base location. Once we get there, I know I will have to process and transition through this all over again, but maybe, just maybe, it will be a teeny bit easier the second time. I told some friends the other day that I finally feel like I can say, "I live here. In Indonesia."
Now even though I can say that and accept it, there is still a lot about Indonesia that I am coming to accept and understand. I'm sure it would take a lifetime here to have a very deep understanding of all of the inner workings of this 3rd-world country. I also feel like I have only begun to experience and take in more of this culture in the last few months. Quite honestly, our circumstances in our first 9 months of living here have always trumped dealing with Indonesian culture. But now our circumstances and situation have changed and we are able to focus and take in the culture. We can now experience more of the culture and relationships here with more openness and understanding.
One of the things I am most thankful for is the returning of a feeling of normalcy. I am finally done with language school, and am able to be "mom" full time again. Our family has a familiar rhythm now, and that feels really good. I can enjoy the opportunities to bless others around me, and just be part of my kids growth and learning.
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| Our 3 growing "kiddos" |
I have had to let go of some things, too (well, a lot of things, really....but here are just a few). I always imagined how hard it could be to raise my kids in a place where we don't have the same opportunities that I had growing up. I wanted my kids to experience the same things I got to as a kid. I wanted them to have the same opportunities to be involved with different things. Unfortunately, there are limited options here, and even more limited once we leave for our base in Tarakan. It is definitely a loss to me, but God is graciously teaching me that raising a family and training your kids isn't about what opportunities they have and being a part of Awana club, Sunday School programs, band, and sports. I love those things and will miss those things for my kids, but God is continuing to teach me that He gives us everything we need for life and godliness. Those other things can be good and used as tools but God will equip us to prepare our kids for life if we are faithful to follow Him with our hearts. My kids are still little, and it does not take a lot to create fun and special family memories. All these things I'm learning now will continue to be a part of how I process life in Indonesia, raising a family here, what is really important for them to experience, and will probably change for me as the kids get older too.
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| Building a rock dam in a small creek. |
For now, taking one day at a time is the best. Borrowing worries from tomorrow doesn't help with today. In another year I'm sure I'll have a plateful of new lessons learned, new good experiences, not-so-good experiences, blessings seen, trials endured, and things suffered. It is messy and uncomfortable sifting through life sometimes, but my heart is more burdened for those who have to do that without knowing the Lord. He truly is the only Rock and stronghold we have in life.
